For the next month and a half, I am still a teenager. And since everyone escaped me being a stereotypical boy-crazy teenage girl in high school, you get to hear all about my overly analyzed boy based struggles now.
(If you choose to skip reading this post, I understand. I personally find it amusing in the most annoying ways, so I get it…)
If you’re eyes are still here, I guess I can begin. I don’t do the “guy” thing well. I’ve never had many friends that were guys, and I haven’t had a boyfriend. I just generally don’t really interact with guys, and that isn’t for lack of trying sometimes. It just happens that I picked an art therapy major in college, one of like a dozen people in the entire program (small school probs), and guess what gender we all happen to be…? Not to mention, that my entire academic school, the Art program, is primarily girls. And the handful of guys have been in my class for the last 2 years, and now we’re all like a bunch of siblings- sometimes I like them and sometimes I don’t, but theres nothing romantic-y about it. Most of the guys I meet through my extra curricula’s are great people, but they’re so great they’re already taken. And of course there’s the meeting people at parties thing, but I don’t really understand the college culture I’m a part of, so participating in all that is another level of difficult.
Now here’s the unfortunate part:
There’s a guy a really like. We’ll call him Harris. But we’re just friends. In fact, we’re not even close to being more than friends. And he’s a great friend actually, a generally great person, which makes it suck more. I mean maybe at one point there is the slightest chance we could’ve been something else other than friends, but I’m now a citizen of the friend-zone and he is unquestionably off limits. But I still see him around a lot and I’m not gonna get into it cuz I’ve decided that we are in fact just friends, and I’m just gonna keep repeating that. Plus I have total phobia of a Harriet the Spy scenario with the stuff I post here…
Now I thought there was a possible something going on with this guy Lee earlier this fall, and it was kinda similar to the Harris thing. I mean, I also saw him around but I didn’t think he was interested in me at all, and then I did, and then I decided that I think his personality just seemed like he was interested in me like that. But the thing is, unlike with Harris, I actually wanted to be just friends with Lee. So maybe the first situation here is karma for this whole Lee thing.
Okay, so then last but definitely not least is the fact that the only time a guy has legitimately actively asked me out happened to be a complete stranger who cannot pick up social cues, who is more awkward that I am, and who caused me more stress than I deserved. We’ll call him Jonathan. I don’t know him as well and am not friends with him, nor am I trying to be friends. Also I don’t think he even knows my blog exists, but at this point I don’t care a whole awful lot. (Normally I’d never say, and maybe not even think, that kind of a thing. But in this scenario, I think I’m more than entitled to share my bitter thoughts.)
To translate the full scale of this experience, let me outline all the happenings a bit more for you. Pretty much I tried to say no thanks and never ask me again in the nicest way possible, but the social cues I was being advised to drop weren’t getting across, which led to several awkward encounters. And I finally had to send a rather curt text to stake things, but now they’re dead and buried finally.
Anyway, I’m lucky enough to have my friends to help me through it all. This semester in the spirit of my constant need to set goals, I have three trusted advisors in my lack of a love life this spring. Regina, my lovely and ever insane (in the best ways) roommate, has volunteered as my personal Rafiki. She will be charged with my emotional wellbeing and generally dealing with me throughout my adventures. Alex, my outgoing and super duper connected friend who I swear knows everyone, has been named as my Mufasa. She’s going to be my agent of sorts, possibly introducing me to new people. Hermione is back at school this semester, so she’s going to use her expertise with the English language to be my wordsmith. Basically, I’m gonna use her to help me write texts and and speak to people my own age through deciphering the subtleties of modern day communication. And I recently added a new possible advisor or two to the committee from my ASB trip, but I’ll fill you in on more as it unfolds.
Now I’m back from my Alternative Spring Break with Habitat for Humanity. I got to spend a week in sunny Florida with some of the best people at my school- we built houses and played games and saw the Sox and went to the beach and stayed up late and laughed and cried. Now I’m far away from them and it’s sad but I’m glad that I got so close I can miss them, and it gives me something else to focus on a bit.
Anywho, I’ll be sure to update you soon!